Christine Wakes Up And Smells The Phone Ringing � � � Saturday, Apr. 26, 2003 * 18:36

Ever woken up and realized you were full of crap? I mean, really full of crap, going the wrong way in life, doing the wrong things, feeling the wrong ways, wanting what you don't have?

When Justin called this morning at 9am, I was sleeping in a crooked-ass position on the couch, wearing clothes from yesterday, shoes and all, with my contacts in. This happens almost every night. But as I was slowly waking up from a foggy trance of unbearable sleepiness, talking to him, I realized that he's in Kuwait , which is obviously a huge sacrifice for him as he is thousands of miles away from his normal life. And I can't even make myself go to class. I'm too lazy to go to work. All I do is play Galaxies and pine away and fuck up my car (ok, so I didn't fuck it up, but it got fucked up) and be bitchy because I can't see him. Oh, and also I play with the cats and watch All My Children instead of fulfilling obligations, and eat poorly, and smoke, and spend too much money on candles. Why can't I get it together? Justin's life got all turned around and he's just fine.

WHY CAN'T I EVER BE FINE???

It ends today. I'm not fucking joking.

This is the new Christine