Christine's Further Hospital Adventures � � � Wednesday, Jul. 16, 2003 * 18:32

I hate going to the doctor. Who doesn't? Unfortunately, in my effort to take care of myself better, I've had a lot of appointments lately. I seem to have several nagging health problems that aren't serious but require attention before they drive me to drink. Like migraines, and hemorrhagic ovarian cysts; and depression, of course, which is very serious. So today was the gynecology appointment. Let me spare you the details but assure you that we never wants to go through that again. The doctor I saw was possibly the most in-your-face, confrontational, bossy woman I've ever met. Approximately 10 minutes into the odd conversation we were having about my "sunburn" and my astronomical pulse (it was 114. christ. kill me. i had to run into the office to get there on time.), she began to ask me all about what I did, where I was from, what I liked to do in my spare time. I was reluctant to respond, but did, and she asked if I wanted to know why she was asking me so many personal questions and showing concern over me. I assured her that I did indeed want to know. She said it was because I was the "most spectacularly intelligent person" she had ever had in her office. While I was flattered by this very accurate observation, I don't know how she was able to determine my intelligence after listening to me mumble about how I hated Columbia University, and enjoyed writing and keeping webpages and listening to music. Wait, maybe she was just trying to get into my pants. It seems to have worked. Damn, she's good.

::.sigh.::

She hooked me up with some birth control pills which should alleviate the nausea, searing pain, dull aches, and lightheadedness associated with the cysts. I'm also not looking to whelp any babies in the near future, so this will be a helpful resource when Justin returns. Dr. Doesn't-Think-Before-She-Speaks was kind enough to give me the following tidbit of useful advice:

"While this will become 99% effective in preventing pregnancy once you take the first pill, some women still choose to use condoms in the first month of usage. And after all, with your husband being away for so long, you never know who he's sleeping with. Especially with military men. You can never be too careful."

I almost smacked the presumptuous bitch across the face with her speculum. That was not cool, lady.

I also found out at the pre-visit vital stats collection that I have lost 8 pounds. I weigh 126 now. In other appointment news, I have a psychiatric evaluation next Wednesday morning. We're just going to go ahead and find out if I'm bipolar. If so, hopefully I can just shoot up some lithium and that'll be the end of this up-and-down shit business. I've had enough of it.

---

Justin's become a Wall Street guru. He made us a profit of 10 bucks today. At this rate, we will have an extra 300 dollars in the next month. I plan to spend this money on cigarettes and curtains. I really want new curtains for the bedroom. I really, really do. But I know I won't get any. Because I will never find the perfect ones, and I couldn't bear to look at anything subpar.

Speaking of the bedroom, it is a disaster. I need quarters, I need clean underwear, I need to be able to walk across the floor without stepping on cats, magazines, books, and towels. However, this evening would not lend itself to a cleaning project, for I feel I am too tired to undertake it. Maybe in a few hours I'll feel better.

Status Quo:

Christine is - typing this entry

Justin is - asleep somewhere in the Middle East

John is - MIA

Mist is - strolling around the living room daintily

Mitri is - nuzzling his nose against my elbow and silently asking me to free up my lap

StevenClyde are - parading around their cage wheeeeting

Jatka. Please sign the guestbook, or leave a comment.