I just don't get the whole - thing! � � � Friday, Oct. 31, 2003 * 20:44

What is it about Halloween 2003 that makes me want to update over, and over, and over again?

Oh right - THERE ARE FUCKING ZERO (0) TRICK-OR-TREATERS. AND I AM BORED. And I have gained ELEVEN POUNDS from ALL THIS CANDY.

I bought like, 7 bags of delicious, non-laced, non-razor-bladed bags of candy which is neither poisoned, spiked, nor otherwise tampered-with. Here now and ready for the taking.

I put a cute trick or treat sign on the door knocker.

Where are the fucking children. Seriously. I'm about to put on a costume and go around banging on doors and pelting windows with bags of m&ms. Oh, that would be sweet. I think I'm going to consider doing that next year. I can dress up like Aunt Jemima (the sweetest lady on earth) and go around giving out candy instead of asking for it.

Why has no one thought of this yet? Where is the reverse Halloween spirit?

So many questions. Why am I still sick? Where has all the love gone? Daddy would you like some sausage?

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BOO!

This "scary" entry, which is actually scary on upwards of 6 distinct levels, has been brought to you by the makers of Johnny Space Rocket Man costumes, Mainway and Curtin.