shit � � � Wednesday, May. 28, 2003 * 01:37

I got sick on Sunday, the kind of sick where you wake up with a temperature approaching 103 and can't seem to find your fingers but you really need to so that you can pry your sweat-soaked hair off of your neck so that you can turn your head enough to breathe so that your throat can reopen. I, not having anyone to care for me, took 6 hours to gather up the nerve to roll off the sofa, pee, sob quietly so as not to anger my fever, and finally to wrap layers upon layers of clothing around my shivering body and get in the car and drive to CVS, where I spent approximately 45 minutes staggering up and down the aisles humming a sad song, avoiding people at all costs for fear of spreading SARS to them, and picking up the following things in this exact order: thermometer, basket, tylenol, bottle of gingerale, bottle of orange juice, bottle of gingerale #2, bottle of coke, giant bottle of sprite. And then I approached the counter, full of fear an dhumiliation for my feverish state and asked "Do you have any pudding?" and feeling like a small British child in boarding school I was directed to the pudding. I retrieved it, which took 5 minutes, and returned to pay for my strange outfit of merchandise, but apparently I was required to stand in line behind every person ever to enter the store after I did. Never drive yourself to CVS when you have temperatures of 103. When I finally returned home, after playing with my new Tylenol bottle, I watched 6 hours of Animal Planet's THE MOST EXTREME and learned many nightmarish things about naked molerats, termites, bees, whales, foxes, and armadillos - which have HAIR!

On Monday I decided that swallowing was heretofore to be branded "optional" as it caused so much pain that really, not swallowing would definitely be best. I spent all of Monday watching 7th Heaven, which was very entertaining. I periodically took naps, from which I would awaken bathed in a sweat, enough to make me need to change my shirt and towel dry my hair, burning hot for several minutes, but soon to be shivering and shaking with freezing cold. This continued all through Monday night and into Tuesday morning, when my fever finally returned to almost-normal.

Today, Tuesday, was going very well. The fever was subsiding well, I had taken no tylenol, and I was drinking lots of fluids. I went into the bathroom to wash my hands and face when suddenly I felt that I could swallow and cough, things I had been avoiding like the plague due to the white-hot pain that was scorching my poor throat and neck. So, I coughed. Into my hand catapulted a quarter-sized, solid, dripping mass of mucus and blood. I began to shake and cry , imagining my death as a very real and imminent possibility. Then, I felt the need to cough again. I did. Up came an identical, equally disgusting ball of crap and blood. My knees began to wobble. I played with the mucus balls for a moment, wondering if they were pieces of my lungs, for they were, I imagined, just the right consistency, and considered saving them to show to the doctor I was about to call. I instead flushed them down the toilet, washed my hands, ran out of the bathroom to the computer, looked up the number to call and make an appointment, burst into tears, and called and made one. Then, I lost my hearing. My face, on the right side, suddenly went numb for a few seconds, and then my ear began to hurt more than is holy and I could not hear a thing out of it. My left ear began limited hearing as well, so now I was hearing about 30% of the things I normally hear.

I feel very sorry now for people who cannot hear. It's scary, indeed. Scary and frightening and horrible.

I went to the doctor. I have a very bad upper respiratory infection, and I have antibiotics, sudafed, nose spray, and ear drops. I can hear again, but not very well. I have no fever anymore, and that is very good.

I apologize for this horrendous writing, but I'm reall not on top of my game right now. Sorry.