Stan-B-Gone � � � Sunday, Mar. 09, 2003 * 01:44

I decided that Stan was becoming a bit too unruly after I caught him in the closet reading girly magazines and eating bean dip. So, today I purchased a big ol' can of Stan-B-Gone and opened it up all over his ass. I bought him a bus ticket to Queens so that he can stay in a nice group home there, where he won't have to feel like an outsider.

He promises to write me.

Yes, my room is spotless.

It took quite a bit of neurosis and coaxing to achieve this, but it's clean and that's all that matters. I am just so thankful that I didn't spend the day sitting on the sofa picking my toenails and watching The Weather Channel. ughhh. Instead I liberated Stan and even went grocery purchasing. That's right, I said grocery purchasing, not shopping. Don't let the man get you down.

I just spent quite a bit of time trying to find Calvin Klein's website. Calvin Klein doesn't have a website, insofar as I was able to determine. What the Fuck? How does Calvin Klein not have a website? If you find Calvin Klein's OFFICIAL WEBSITE, then I will reimburse you.

But I'm pretty sure the motherfucker doesn't exist.