This AIM User Takes a Midterm? � � � Wednesday, Mar. 12, 2003 * 13:23

I'm having a bad day, so fuck you. It all started last night when I tried to study for my History midterm.

Now, you must understand that I really, really wanted to go get free donuts and coffee this morning. More than you can ever imagine. I also wanted to get to school early so that I could study some more for my midterm. So, last night , instead of preparing conscientiously for the test, getting to bed early, and not drinking four glasses of coke, I did the opposite of those things. I watched American Idol, stayed up until 2am, and drank four glasses of coke. All of this resulted in an approximate net studying time of One Hour. Compare this to the Five Hours I could have spent studying if I had not been so busy chugging soda and "Aiken for Clay". Of course, there's more to the story.

I set two alarms, one for 7 o'clock and one for 8 o'clock, just to give myself that extra little "get the fuck out of the fucking bed" nudge that I so need. The alarm that I set for 7, using Justin's alarm clock, failed to sound. I don't understand the mother fucker. And, my alarm clock, set for 8, went through its usual heroics. It sounded at 8, I hit the snooze button. It sounded at 8:14, I flailed wildly and catapulted it onto the floor. It sounded at 8:28, I picked it from the floor and hurled it into the wall at a terrifying speed, and it quieted down, never to go off again. When I woke up at 9, I realized that I was not catching any bus that would either a) get me to the donuts on time, or b)get me to the midterm on time. So, I proceeded to sit at my computer, in my underwear, and listen to a couple of Placebo songs while my cat howled frantically. I wondered, whatever will I do? Naturally, I got a break. I looked at my roommate's door and realized that he was home, being that it was closed. Now, this was new to me. I had assumed that he would be off joining the Air Force like he always tries to do on Wednesday mornings of late. But, yaroo. He was home. So, I skipped my shower, put on some clothes, woke him up, hastily we departed for the University of Maryland I with books in hand and smile on face. No donuts, but I would make it to that midterm, smile-on-face. I careered wildly across the mall on foot, finding my way to Francis Scott Key Hall I entered that building with poise and eagerness. I delivered myself unto the lecture hall, quietly slipped in since I was 10 minutes late, and ...

The professor was not administering a test. He was lecturing. I don't know this professor's name, or I would say "fuck Mr. (insert name here), why was he talking instead of standing silently behind the lectern?"

There was no midterm today.

It's next Monday.

So, on Sunday, I will be doing a repeat performance of last night's procrastination, live on stage at My Apartment.

I'm getting too old for this fucking hullabaloo.