Clocks - nothing else compares! � � � Saturday, Oct. 18, 2003 * 17:00

For the longest time, I had planned on writing in here about how fiercely I hate the band Coldplay. My hatred for them was pure and unadulterated, the kind of hatred I normally reserve only for country and religious music. The song Yellow makes me so sick that if I hear it, it will play in my mind for hours, days - in the past it has actually given me nightmares.

The reason I hate(d) them is simple. They clearly rip off Radiohead's music on a very uniform, regular basis. All I could ever hear when listening to their music was some prick trying to wail like Thom Yorke and failing miserably. Feeble attempts at making discordant melodies sound beautiful and easy. Repetitive strains repeated 3 too many times. Tunes that are blatant upside-down transcriptions of Radiohead melodies (Street Spirit, How Do You).

Well, I'm sure we've all heard the song Clocks. It plays on the radio at least 4-5 times on my way to and from work.

I hated that song. It made me roll my eyes in disbelief that something like this could be more popular than, say, The Tourist by Radiohead.

Well, one night in July, as I was driving myself to Wawa and feeling melodramatic and oh-so-angsty - and, dare I say, open-minded? - Clocks came on the radio and I decided to give it a listen, because really, nothing else was on.

Fireworks were exploding all around in the night sky, set off by careless kids on campus. Bands of young people were walking arm-in-arm down the road, singing, laughing. The wind was blowing and the last of the fireflies were twinkling in time with the blue and red bursts that illuminated the smoke-filled atmosphere.

Home, where I wanted to go, home. What a great song!

I almost wrecked the car. I had sung along to the entire song and I was nearly moved to tears by its beauty.

Needless to say, I never told anyone about this tryst I had with my arch nemeses of trite pop music. I continued to bad-mouth Coldplay, to berate those people I knew who fancied them, and to secretly listen to their music whenever it came on the radio. Well, not Yellow. I still hate that piece of shit song.

To make a long story shorter, I just downloaded Clocks from the iTunes music store and listened to it like 18 times.

That's right, I bought it. And then I listened to it 18 times.

Oh, and that song Serenity, by Godsmack? The one you can't download from KazaA because the record labels have planted false copies of it all over the internet?

I bought that one too.

In a panic, I tried to take stock of my musical taste. Radiohead? Yes. Still listening to all albums on a regular, healthy basis. Peter? Need to be more vigilant.

So, to more than make up for my transgression into crappy feel-good pop, I downloaded PG's Security, the full album.

No one try to talk smack to me about how I'm supposed to be such a frugal, discriminating, tasteful listener. Clearly, I have gotten Godsmack and Coldplay out of my system, I've admitted my guilty secret.

Now, excuse me while I go buy some Radiohead. Just kidding.

They are SO way too cool to put their art in iTunes.

Maybe I can find some Linkin Park, instead.