Who the fuck is Christine?       2003-03-01 * 9:23 p.m.

Caustic, self-aware, and cosmopolitan. She is the epitome of that caste of women who go through life knowing what lies ahead, how to get to it, and how to seize it with jewelled fingers and dazzling satisfied smiles. Wears a prize diamond given to her by her trophy husband and keeps a box of four others in her bottom drawer, bestowed upon her in her teenage years by several mad-with-lust Ivy Boys who courted her in perfumed gardens littered across the Northeast. Feminist, liberal, works for the cause by being her triptastic self and occasionally, when she dusts off her knick-knacks, wearing a t-shirt that says

"Don't be afraid to say the F-word. "

and on the back, "FEMINISM"

NOT

I'm cracking myself up, seriously. My lungs are going to explode into a thousand pieces.

To quote myself, "i don't fucking know, dude." That's my mantra. I'm a manic-depressive, wholly entertaining, oft-times dishevelled, self-conscious, ridiculous mess of too many emotions and not enough places to put them. I've been known to be an Objectivist, a determinist, a mistake, a musician, a ditz, a goddess, an atheist, a nut, a daughter of an alcoholic, a wife, a lost soul, a feverish fan of Peter Gabriel, and a Libertarian.

And I'm only 22! I could go so fucking far in life, if I'd only apply myself!

I am a French major. My husband is going to Kuwait to kill A-rabs. I hate bananas and monkeys and anything simian, like politicians. I yearn for anarchy and freedom in this country. I want to legalize drugs, even though I don't do drugs. I hate feminists. I smoke. I call myself Dagny. I love cats. I dislike the color orange. I love the color blue. 90% of my waking hours are spent listening to music.

I think that's all you need to know.